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- *PARENTS* Your Comfort Doesn't Always Help
“Ugh! I got 8th." 😖
"That's OK buddy. Field events aren't really your thing. Now that it's over just focus on running. It's not that big of a deal."
"Well it is to me."
DAMN IT! Yes, yes it is, buddy.
That’s my bad.
As parents of athletes it's REALLY easy to get sucked into the routine of trying to minimize pain in order for them to find the motivation to move on.
Being on the outside, we see things they may not and so it's easy and natural for us to say, "oh it's no big deal. Just move on."
Let's be clear though, just because we're on the outside doesn't mean we see it objectively.
By saying these kinds of things, while well intentioned, we take the experience away from them.
It's OK for them to feel disappointment. It's a data point.
It can be the motivation they want or need to try differently next time.
Brushing past it we brush past what they take from it.
As parents, our main job is to acknowledge and validate what they go through ... even when we don't agree or understand.
Hell, ESPECIALLY when we don't agree or understand.
It's not our life, it's not our journey. And yes, while we have some input into their journey, that doesn't mean it's ours to control.
Ps. This was an exchange with my 9yo this season at a track meet.
Yes, I do this for a living, but I'm still human. I'm still a work in progress.
I'm a mother who loves and adores her son very much and just wants the best for him.
And I have to remind myself daily ... the best for him is to let him experience and digest his experiences in way that works for him, not me.